Thursday, June 13, 2013

To be continued...

Last night I decided that I would drop my class. As much as I would like to pursue a Master's, this is not the right time for it. Life is to short to have this unnecessary stress placed upon myself. With my new job, and other summer plans, I can not continue. One of my biggest worries with quitting would be that I'd let me husband down. Last night I mentioned this through tears to a neighbor while he was nearby. His reply was, "She's let me down before and she'll do it again. I'll always love her". I just began to laugh. He is the best husband ever. After the neighbor left we talked more about this and agreed that I could put this off a while longer. There will never be a great time to get a Master's but there will be a better time than this.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

A new day

This morning welcomed me with bright skies. How I wish I felt as bright as it is outside. I have been a wreck since Friday, just knowing that my class had not even started and I was already behind on my reading. Four books sat in my dining room but I had never heard of reading your text before class began. And when did instructors start posting a syllabus on line? Oh, how times have changed!

This is my third day of class and I have run out of steam. Monday, I imagine I looked like a deer caught in headlights, probably in shock. Tuesday, was a break down day, I cried more times than I ever have in a day. Today, I seem to be just going through the motions, oblivious to most things around me. I haven’t been sleeping or eating properly. My head aches and my stomach has been upset since Monday, likely stress related. Yes, there are only two more days of class but then how am I ever going to get all the papers finished?

I have to work next week. There is so much to do at Cornerstone: order curriculum and furniture, review job applications, interview for open positions, register families for the fall, work on the budget and I am sure many other tasks that I cannot think of now. The following two weeks I will be home with my parents, at the lake, without internet, just soaking up the beauty of God’s creation. Overwhelming dread sets in when I think of my assignments.

I know that God is with me and I am so thankful for such a loving and supportive husband but I can’t seem to get past me. I am causing this panic and fear that I can’t seem to break away from.  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me. Phil 4:13HCSB Over and over I must keep reminding myself that He is greater than I am!


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

In the beginning

A few years ago I began thinking about going back to school for a Master’s degree. Hours and hours were spent on the computer looking at schools and the programs that they offered. There were a few that I found very interesting but was not sure about continuing my education on line. Being in a class room and interacting with an instructor would be much more enjoyable.

Slowly, this idea slipped further to the back of my mind as we moved and I began a new job. I took a few CEU courses with colleagues and was content with my professional path. This past summer we made our final military move. Shortly thereafter, I applied for a Director job at a church preschool. For a few reasons, the church decided it was not the right time to hire. I felt God’s calling to the school and said I would volunteer my time. A second four year old class was added to the program and a I began the year with a great class. A couple teachers went to the ODACS conference in the fall and I talked to a VBC rep about a Masters. She was very excited to tell me about a new Masters in Christian Ed that would be beginning soon. My thoughts once again returned to continuing my education.

Jumping ahead a few months, the church decided again to hire for a Director. This time I was blessed with knowing the job was there for me. I became the Assistant Director in January and earlier this month was given the Director position. With this new responsibility I felt that it was definitely time to return to class to further my education so I in turn may better lead the teachers at the school.

My first few days as a student at VBC have been extremely stressful. I probably chose the hardest class Research and Writing. I am not a writer and I know very little about research.

God has blessed me with a wonderful job and the school ministry is expanding to include first and second grade next year. I am prayerfully hoping to make it through this educational experience to better myself as an Administrator so I can be of service to Him in this great ministry He has set before me.

Monday, June 10, 2013

This is it

Am I crazy? After years of telling myself I should go back to school I have taken the plunge and am taking my first course. Just the thought of school is enough to make me want to run. To add to my fear I am taking Research and Writing. What was I thinking? I struggle with any type of writing, let alone research. My husband jokes that "we" earned my B.A.
School has changed a lot since I went 20 years ago. I never thought to look online for a syllabus before class began. Friday the instructor made a post about getting reading done before class today. Great, I was in NC visiting family. I felt a bit lost today and just finished the readings for tomorrow. My mind is shutting down, I am exhausted!
A guiding verse has always been Phil 4:13 I am able to  do all things through Him who strengthens me. HCSB Will hold fast to this verse for the coming weeks.